Made From Corn

from Radio Ready by Sockpuppet

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All about the things that are made from corn


The last time I was abducted by aliens, they were very excited to meet me.

I came from a place where there were things that were not made from corn, but they loved corn quite a lot. They took me in their corn-shaped space ship and brought me to their planet which was covered in fields upon fields of corn, and when the people greeted me they were wearing corn hats and corn shirts made from corn silk, and when the little children smiled at me they had smiles of corn with little kernels for teeth. And the airplanes left behind corntrails of popcorn, which rained down from the sky all the time, and they ate this popcorn with a corn butter made from corn oil and sweetened with corn syrup. All the children ran in fields of corn while carrying their cornphones that connected them to cornputers, and all they ate was corn, corn, and corn. For protein they had corn nuts, and for dairy they had corn milk, and late at night they'd watch corny movies and standup cornedians making corny jokes, and when they wanted to screw they'd watch hard-corn cornography. This world had a whole lot of corn. But their corn ship had broken down and they couldn't send me home, so this is where I still live to this day. It is the planet on which you and I and everyone else are. Everything is made from corn. Except the corn. That is made from trimethylsalicylide.


from Radio Ready, released January 25, 2014




Sockpuppet Seattle, Washington

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